I have a very "live and let live" relationship with people & porn. If you enjoy it, I don't see anything wrong with it.
Inside a relationship, I would almost want to separate one's identity from his porn, just because they're not necessarily related. If he needs certain "elements" within porn to turn him on, it doesn't make him a bad person. I think that having porn with those elements might allow him to keep them secret, if he's ashamed of it. I think it could create intimacy issues, but I also think that his partner could try to non-judgmentally accommodate them within their own sex life. Dan Savage has written a few things about this in his column "Savage Love." I can't find them right now, but I think they're worth checking out.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2006-08-14 06:36 am (UTC)Inside a relationship, I would almost want to separate one's identity from his porn, just because they're not necessarily related. If he needs certain "elements" within porn to turn him on, it doesn't make him a bad person. I think that having porn with those elements might allow him to keep them secret, if he's ashamed of it. I think it could create intimacy issues, but I also think that his partner could try to non-judgmentally accommodate them within their own sex life. Dan Savage has written a few things about this in his column "Savage Love." I can't find them right now, but I think they're worth checking out.